Cuts
by Feng Shui Goddess
Summary: IMPORTANT A/N POSED!'I'd heard some groupies talking about doing it at school. They were covered with these marks like it was some kind of sick cult... You know, cutting themselves.' Kagome is stressed, and is in search of a cure. But will it be worth it?
1. Groupies

(:Disclaimer:) I do not own Inu Yasha. He owns me.  
  
(:A.N:) Hello, everyone. My name's Mae, and I'm the author of this story. I came up with this idea while writing my other fic 'Haunting Me in Dreams'. I don't know what made me think of it, I just did. lol. Anyways, here's chapter one, and please remember to review! -Mae-  
  
Cuts  
Chapter One : Groupies  
By : Feng Shui Goddess  
  
~Intro~  
  
I'd overheard some groupies at my high school talking about it one day. They said that when you did it, it'd get your adrenalin pumping because of the pain you'd feel. I saw that they were covered in these marks, like it was some sort of sick cult. Oh, how I hated groupies. How they'd have so many guys hovering over them every minute of every hour of every day. They dressed in the tightest clothes that outlined ever single little curve on their seventy pound body. They would spend hours every morning applying makeup so perfectly that you'd think they were about to have a meeting with God. Their hair was always perfectly styled; no split ends or loose strands at all. They wore the nicest and most expensive clothes in the mall, and they'd walk arm in arm, gossiping about who was with who and who did what and so on and so forth. They made me sick, oh how they made me sick. The perfectionists of the perfectionists, that's what they were. Pointing out every single flaw that you had and could possibly ever have. They'd make stupid comments like, 'Oh, your pants are an inch too short,' or 'No body wears THAT any more.' Oh, I couldin't stand it, not one little bit. Not now, not ever.  
  
~End of Intro~  
  
I sighed, and slouched deeply into the wooden chair at my desk, propping up my grammar text book so I could still study in my slumped down position. I slowly absorbed the material, word by word, until I felt like my mind was going to explode. I had too many things to do in life, too many expectations were on me. My whole family expected me to be   
perfect. To get good grades, to be athletic, to be in a number of stupid clubs, and a whole bunch of other crap like that. And then they expected me to be able to do all that shit while going back in time 500 years to Sengoku Jidai and helping the hanyou Inu Yasha find his precious Shikon no Tama. Of course I loved visiting the Sengoku Jidai, I felt like I belonged there much more then I belonged here. The future was so stressful, and so rushed. My family and I hardly spent any time together, with Mom always working, Grandpa tending to the family shrine, and Souta busy with school work. Life was so crazy all the time, no thanks to Inu Yasha who would never allow me to spend more than three days home at a time. Thanks to him I could hardly ever study and was barely passing any of my clases. God he annoyed me so much sometimes, always trying to pry into my life and take my time away from my family and friends. I layed my head down on my desk, burrying my head in my arms. I was so stressed, I didn't know what to do. Time was ticking by so quickly, it was rushing so so fast. I thought about how Inu Yasha was going to come retrieve me tomorrow evening, how he would take me back to his time and make me stay there for at least a week. I would have fun, that I would, but I was not in the position to have fun at the moment. I needed to study, needed to make a decent future for myself, which could only be achieved by getting good grades and obtaining vast amounts of knowledge.  
  
I slowly stood up and made myself over to my bed, falling onto my soft mattress. I let out a small cry, not knowing what to do. I was so lost... A vision of Inu Yasha appeared in my mind. I loved him very much, that I did. But inside I feared that he did not love me in return. Sure, he looked at me with adornment in his eyes, but he looked that was at Kikyo, too. Maybe Kikyo was better for him, maybe she deserved him more than I. Maybe I wasn't worth Inu Yasha... Maybe it would never work out between us. I let myself cry freely now, not caring if anyone heard. I had heard of a way of relieving stress at school, and it supposeably worked very well. A lot of my friends did it, too, and said it was great. That it sent a small prick of pain up your spine, and you noticed noting but the pain. You'd forget about all your sorrows... Even if it was just for a short time, I was sure that it would be great... I slowly stood up and walked into my bathroom, turning on the light. I pulled the shower curtain away from my bath tub, and spotted my razor sitting in a soap dish. I slowly picked it up and held it to my wrist, pressing it against my skin with a bit of pressure, until it cut into my skin. I winced in pain as blood trickled down my arm, and I gave a small smile. I licked the blood off of my arm and set my razor back in it's proper place. I slowly stepped back in my bedroom and layed back down on my bed, yawning. Tomorrow was Sunday, the one day of the week that I did not have school. I sighed, and closed my eyes, letting my head sink into my pillow. I slowly allowed myself to fall asleep, and sank into a deep state of dreams.  
  
~Morning~  
  
I awoke to the sound of my mother yelling for me from downstairs. "Kagome! Breakfast! Come downstairs before your food gets cold!" she yelled from the bottom of the staircase. "Coming!" I replied, sitting up and stretching. I climbed out of my bed hesitantly, and walked over to my slippers that were next to my door. I slipped them on, and noticed my arm. Blood had dried over the wound, but was smeared all over my skin. I quickly went into my bathroom and washed away the dry blood, putting a bandaid on my arm so no one would question my wound. After I finished those precautions, I headed downstairs to see my grandfather, Souta, and my mother hurriedly cooking at the stove. "Ohayo gozaimasu," I said, smiling. "Ohayo, Kagome Chan," said my grandfather and Souta in unison. Mother was too busy cooking up a storm to respond, but gave a small nod. I sat down at my kitchen table which was covered with a bunch of different foods, and gave out a sigh. "Tired?" Souta asked, scooting over next to me. "A little," I said. After a few minutes Mom came over and sat down at the table, a big smile on her face, "Ikedekimasu!" We all started eating like there was no tomorrow, taking short breath in between bites to keep us from suffocating."So, Kagome Chan, what are you doing today?" Mom asked in between bites. "I don't know. Inu Yasha will probably come and get me later today, so, I guess other then that I'm just going to hang around." Souta got a big grin on his face, "Kagome Chan! Wanna play Dance Dance Revolution with me after breakfast?" I sighed, not being able to refuse his sweetness, "Sure, Souta Chan." He smile and said, "Great! I'm gonna beat you hands down!" I laughed, "Yeah, right. I am the DDR Queen! You said so yourself one time!" We babbled on for about ten minutes about DDR, who was better than who, what songs were the best, and so on and so forth.  
  
Later that day, Souta and I held our Dance Dance Revolution tournament. The two dance pads were set up a few feet from the couch in our living room, so that way if we fell, we wouldin't fall on the floor. Souta was better at moving fast, but I was better with the more technical moves, which was more important. After about an hour of never ending dancing, Souta finally collapsed in defeat, "You win, Kagome. I should never of doubted your dancing power." I laughed, and patted him on the back, "Don't worry about it, you'll only improve." He sighed, "Yeah, you're right. Hey, Kagome, what happened to your wrist?" I gasped, not thinking that anyone would ask about it, "It's nothing, just a scratch I got a few days ago in Sengoku Jidai." He layed down on the couch, "Oh." I stood up and went upstairs, shoving random crap in my backpack for going to Sengoku Jidai. I knew that Inu Yasha was going to come and get me at any time now, I could just sence it. I put clothes, books, food, makeup, some other random stuff, and my razor in my backpack. I smirked as I threw my razor in my bag. 'Can't forget this,' I thought, laughing to myself. A few minutes later, I heard a knocking at my window. Inu Yasha. 'Yup, I was right. Right on time.'  
  
(:A.N:) Well, that's it for chapter one! Please don't flame me, and PLEASE review! If you review, I'll update quicker, okay. Tell me what you like and dislike about my story so far, pleaseeee. Well, see you next time. -Mae- 


	2. Matsuri

(:Disclaimer:) I do not own Inu Yasha. He owns me.  
  
(:A.N:) Wow, I got like four reviews in one day for my first chapter of this story! Thanks so much you guys! Well, here's chapter two!  
  
Cuts  
Chapter Two : Matsuri  
By : Feng Shui Goddess  
  
I slowly trudged over to my window where Inu Yasha was impatiently sitting, and opened it slowly. He jumped through and landed gracefully on my floor. "About time you let me in, wench," he said, crossing his arms in a pouting style. I sighed, "Just shut up. I'm not in the mood for your crap Inu Yasha." He seemed taken aback by this statement, and I saw a bit of worry in his eyes, "Kagome, are you alright? You don't seem like yourself today." I walked over to my bed and sat on it, "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry for snapping back like that. I guess I'm just stressed." He nodded, "I guess I can understand." I laughed a little. Was Inu Yasha actually being sympathedic? I sighed, figuring that I was just imagining things. I grabbed my wrist with the cut on it, unaware that I was doing so. "What's that from?" Inu Yasha asked, grabbing my arm and examing the bandaid that was covering it. "Nothing!" I snapped back, trying to pry my arm from his seemingly iron grip. He pulled back the bandaid and looked at my wound. "This wound is fresh, I can tell. It's from last night," he declaired. I managed to pull my arm from his grasp, "How dare you, Inu Yasha. Just leave me the hell alone!" I ran into my bathroom and slammed the door, locking it. I leaned up against the back of the door and slumped down to the ground, starting to cry. I curled up into a little ball and rocked back and forth, letting my tears fall freely. 'Why are you crying, Kagome? You're being to childish," I scolded myself. "I shouldin't of done it! I shouldin't have done what I did last night, it was wrong. I was wrong. But, I enjoyed doing it. I'd like to do it again,' I thought to myself. Inu Yasha knocked on the door, "Kagome, come on out. I'm sorry, it's none of my buisiness where it came from. Please don't cry, come out," he cooed. 'Damn hanyo sences, he would tell I was crying,' I thought. I stood up, and looked at myself in the mirror. I wiped the tears from my eyes and splashed my face with cold water. I walked back over to the door and unlocked it, stepping back into my room. Inu Yasha smiled, "I'm glad you're okay, Kagome." I ran over to him and leaped into his arms, sobbing. "I'm sorry Inu Yasha! I shouldin't have yelled like that!" I said between sobs. "Kagome... I..." Inu Yasha said, sounding shocked by my behavior. "Can I stay home for a few more days? Please?" I asked, clutching the cloth of his kimono. "Only if I can stay with you," he said, sounding serious. "Why do you want to stay with me?" I asked, sounding surprised. "Because, I'm worried about you." I was shocked... Inu Yasha worrying about me? "Of course you can, you're always welcome here," I said, hugging him. "Promise me you'll stop crying," he said. I nodded, "Okay."  
  
Later that day, I was unpacking my bag, figuring I wasn't going to go back to the feudal era for a few days. Inu Yasha was sitting on my bed, legs and arms crossed, leaning against my bed post. I found my razor in my bag, and quickly returned it to it's proper place in my bathroom. I sighed, figuring that I would have to go to school tomorrow, unless some miracle happened to cancel school. I removed my books from my backpack and placed them in a neat pile on my desk. I smiled, continuing to put some clothes back into my closet. "Why such a good mood, Kagome?" Inu Yasha asked. "I'm just glad that you're here," I said. "Y-you are?" Inu Yasha said as his face turned a bright shade of red. I nodded, "Of course. Why wouldin't I be happy?" He turned even brighter red, and shrugged, "I donno." After all the contents of my backpack were put back in their proper places, I hung the bag on a hook in my closet, and sat down at my desk. "It's boring just sitting around like this. Can't we do something more exciting?" Inu Yasha complained, sighing. "Like what?" I asked. "I don't know. What's fun to do in your world?" I thought hard, "Well, there's lots of things to do. There's a big festival not far from here, maybe we could go to that, unless you don't want to." He stood up and stretched. "What kind of festival?" he asked. "Just a normal one with games and rides. There's no real holiday any time soon, so it's just a fun festival." He yawned, "Well, I guess we can go. Anything is better than sitting around and doing nothing." I laughed, "You're so fidgety, like a child." He snorted, "Sure, whatever you say. I'm much more mature than you are." I crossed my arms, "Sure, Kodomo Chan." Our stupid little 'arguement' continued for several minutes, until I finally gave up and allowed him to win. "Really, Kagome. I thought girls were s'posed to be ambitious." I laughed, "Well, some of us are. Some girls, like me, are just lazy." Inu Yasha shook his head, "You're not lazy, you've just got a lot on your mind all the time, with all that homework and shit like that." I nodded, "You're being awfully nice today Inu Yasha." He snorted, "Don't take it too personally, I just don't want you cryin' all over the place is all." I laughed, "Sure. You won't admit it but I know you like me." Inu Yasha turned bright red, "WHAT the hell did you just say?!" I laughed harder, "You. Like. Me." Inu Yasha folded his arms, "Yeah right. How could I ever like someone as stupid as you?" I sighed, "You're right... How could you...?"  
  
I stood up and walked into my bathroom, sorrow overwhelming me. He didn't like me, he never like me. He liked Kikyo, and only Kikyo. I was just Kikyo's reincarnate, I was her soul. I was just another Kikyo to him, not Kagome. I slammed the door and locked it, pulling the curtain back from my shower. I took my razor in my shaky hands and held it up to my wrist, pressing it hard against my skin and moved it horizontally, cutting into my skin deeper than the last time. I smiled slightly, and licked up the blood once again. I found a wrist band laying on my floor that I had bought at a Western-style punk-goth store and put it over my wrist, hoping nobody would question the band. "Kagome, what the hell are you doing? I smell blood..." Inu Yasha yelled frantically. I refused to respond, and sat down on the edge of my sink, brushing my hair. I was sinking into a deeper and deeper depression day by day. I knew what I was doing was wrong, very wrong. I knew that I would have to stop before someone found out, and I could have horrible things done to me. I'd heard stories at school about kids like me being put into a hospital, or even worse. I cringed at the thought, and buried my face in my hands, silently cursing to myself. 'Why'd you do it with Inu Yasha in the other room? You knew that he would be able to smell the blood,' I yelled at myself, 'but maybe he'll just think that I'm in heat or something... Hopefully.' I stood up, looking at my reflection in the mirror. I put my hand on my reflection's face, smiling. 'It's gonna be all right, Kagome,' I assured myself, 'You can overcome this all by yourself. Hitorijime shitai.'  
  
I walked out of the bathroom staring at the floor with a newborn interest. "Kagome... I'm worried about you. You've been acting so different lately, Miroku and Sango are worried as well," Inu Yasha said. I walked over to my bed and layed down, sinking my face into my pillow. "I don't need anyone to worry," I mumbeled, my voice quieted by the pillow. I rolled over and looked up at my ceiling, sighing. "What's that arm band for, Kagome?" Inu Yasha asked, pointing at my arm. "It's a style from America, everyone wears them there," I said, making up my lame excuse. What was I supposed to say? Should I have said, 'Well, you see Inu Yasha, I've sort of lost my mind and enjoy cutting my wrists out of stress'? Did they even cut their wrists in Sengoku Jidai? God, I hoped not. That time had enough worries as it was, they definately didn't need people running around killing themselves. Killing themselves... Was that what I was doing? Sure, cutting yourself could easily kill you, but only if you did it in a certain spot on your wrist, a spot that I sut far away from. "Inu Yasha... Am I just Kikyo's replacement?" I asked. I knew that he had told me I wasn't many times before, but I still felt that I was. "No, of course not. Don't say shit like that, Kagome, it's not true," he said in a solemn voice. "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't comapare me to Kikyo in your mind?" He shook his head, "Of course not. You may look like her, but you're not her at all. You're more loving, kind, and compassionate than she ever was." I sat up, "And prettier?" Inu Yasha laughed, "You never change."  
  
A little while later, my mom called Inu Yasha and I downstairs for lunch. She had made several variations of sushi and a soup. Inu Yasha and I sat next to eachother at the table, with Souta across from us and Mom and Grandpa on both of our sides. "So, Inu Yasha, Kagome says that you're going to stay with us for a few days. Is that true?" my mom asked, shoving a piece of salmon sushi in her mouth. Inu Yasha nodded slowly, afraid that my mom would be mad, "If that's all right with you, Higurashi San." My mother smiled, "Of course it is, you're always kind to our Kagome here and protect her, so we owe it to you. It's also good because she can catch up with her school work." Inu Yasha sighed silently in relief, glad that my mother did not object to him staying at our house. "So, what are you two going to do today?" my mom asked. "Well, I figure we can go over to the festival at the park for a little while later, or something like that," I said. "That's a good idea, I hope you two have fun," she said, smiling. "I wanna come, too, Kagome!" Souta whined. "Now, now, Souta. We should let them have fun by themselves," my mom said, smiling. 'By ourselves?' What was she getting at? That Inu Yasha and I were an item or something? If she thought that, she was gravely mistaken... of course I wouldin't mind it if Inu Yasha and I were together... I shook those thoughts from my mind right away, not wanting to to think about it. "Well, that was good. Thanks for the lunch," I said, standing up, "I think I'm going to go get ready to go to the festival. Inu Yasha, you can stay down here and play video games with Souta or something." Inu Yasha sighed, but agreed, not wanting to anger me, "Okay, but hurry up."  
  
I ran upstairs into my room, and surveyed the clothes in my closet. It was a casual festival, so I didn't have to wear traditional clothes, which made me relieved. I rummaged through a huge pile of unfolded clothes (lol we all have one of those around the house) and finally found what I was looking for, a dark blue jean skirt that rose a bit above my knees. I threw the skirt on my bed and went to find a shirt. I finally found a cute form fitting green top, and threw that on my bed as well. I got dressed quickly, and went into my bathroom and brushed my hair. I pulled it back with two clips on the side and put on a little bit of makeup, not wanting to overdo it. After I was satisfied with how I looked, I threw on a pair of cute black heels, picked up my purse, and headed downstairs. Inu Yasha was sitting on the floor next to Souta, absorbed in a violent round of Mortal Combat. "Kagome, this game kicks ass!" he shouted loudly. "Don't use language like that in front of my family!" I yelled just as loud as he did. "Kagome, Inu Yasha is pretty good. Did you train him or anything?" Souta asked, looking up from the game for a second, only to be clobbered by Inu Yasha. I shook my head, "Nope, this is his first time. Pretty good, isn't he?" I walked up behind Inu Yasha and pulled on his collar, "C'mon, you have to get dressed in those normal clothes I bought you last time you were here, and then we have to go." He sighed, "Oh, alright. We'll continue later, okay Souta?" Souta nodded enthusiastically, "Okay, sure thing!"  
  
After Inu Yasha was dresses in 'normal clothes', (loose baggy jeans, a leather belt, a loose tee shirt and a black hat) he and I headed for the bus stop, waving good bye to my family. "I'm glad you're here, Inu Yasha. It's fun to have you around," I said, smiling. "Uh, yeah..." Inu Yasha said, tencing up. I laughed at his shyness, and continued walking, garbbing his arm to make him walk faster. He didn't pull back from my grasp, which surpirised me. After we finally reached the bus stop which was about five blocks away from my house, we joined with the group of people who were already waiting for the bus. "I guess we didn't have a very origional idea going to the festival tonight," I said, pointing at the mob of people. Inu Yasha sighed, "It's okay, we don't have anything better to do." He was acting to kind to me lately, and I liked it. Maybe it was because he liked me, or maybe it was because he knew that I had cut myself. Or maybe it was because of both. Nevertheless, I was glad. The bus finally pulled up to the stop, and the people piled in. I paid for the both of us and we got a seat in the back of the bus, squished because of how packed it was. When we finally reached the festival, Inu Yasha marveled at all the people and lights. "See?," I started, "This is gonna be fun."  
  
(:A.N:) That's it for chapter two! That was a pretty long chapter I think ^ ^. Well, anyways, review, cause if I get four more, I'll post the next chapter! Thanks for reading and PLEASE REVIEW! 


	3. Important Authors Note, Please Read and ...

(~Author's Note~)  
  
Hello, everyone. Takeuchi Mae here. Okay, so I have had a few complaints about this story thus far, and I would like to clear some things up, so please read this and try not to fall asleep lol.  
  
First of all, self mutulation is a serious disease that people aquire from overwhelming trauma, stress, and sorrow. It is a horrible thing to do and causes many deaths. This is just a warning, you know? I know all about what goes on through one's mind while 'cutting' themselves, and I am aware that it does not seem fitting for Kagome's character. This is an OOC story, I know, and I apologize if you are not happy with it. Anyways, I am very familiar with 'cutting' and if you have ever tried or considered trying it, it is not worth it at all. I used to do it myself, and I have regreted it sincerely. It is an addiction, a horrible one which is worse than many other diseases like cancer and such at times because you do it intentionally, and could stop if you wanted to, but most people don't want to stop, and many don't.  
  
Next, I am considering upping the rating on this story to R and adding some lemoness in it, but I would like your opinion on the matter first, because I do not want to lose my readers. It would be a Kag/Inu romance, but also a strong drama and will progressively get more angsty as time continues. If you would prefer no lemon in this story, then by all means tell me, because I want to know what YOU think, because my readers make this story possible.  
  
I would like to apologize to Wood for causing you to become angry, and I am sorry for troubling you. Also, thanks as always for reporting me. - -;; And thank you for writing me that 20 page essay on cutting yourself, as if I didn't already know that crap lol. I am also sorry, Wood, that English is not my primary language thus I do not fulfill your love to use long confusing words and cannot put a sentence together properly in your mind. *Insane laugh* You mess with Japan, and Japan messes with you.  
  
Finally, I would like to thank everyone (Except Wood Jiji, the 20 something year old dude who likes to scold poor Japanese Americans like myself) for reading my story! Gosh, I am so thrilled to get 14 reviews on just my first two chapters! Thank you so much for reading everyone, it means a lot to me! Some of you have even added this story to your favorites, which is an honor to me!  
  
Thank you for reading this authors note, and I am sorry for the inconvienience. Chapter three will be up in a few days, so please be patient. I look forward to seeing your responce to this notice, and would truly like your opinion on the topics I have discussed! Thank you very much one again, and have a wonderful today! -Takeuchi Mae CHAN 


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